Hogwarts And Detention
by wickeddominatrix
Summary: Stuck in detention, the gang has nothing to do. Then Cat tells them about her newest obsession. Hilarity ensues they choose Hogwarts Houses for each other. / Oneshot. Doesn't focus on any pairings but Beck/Jade. (Cat/Jade and Robbie/Cat if you squint.)


**Ah, sorry, I had to incorporate Harry Potter into a fic of mine. I know it doesn't seem like it but I am the biggest HP freak ever. I just have this really addictive personality so when I began watching Victorious again... you know. Enjoy. (: **

* * *

"Well," said Tori Vega, "what should we do now?" She looked around at her friends - and Jade - who still hadn't completely warmed up to her.

Everyone looked around, and then whipped their head at a certain excited redhead. She clapped her hands like a baby, and giggled, "I think we should sort everyone we know into Hogwarts Houses, you know, like in Harry Potter!"

Jade groans, and Beck snickers. Robbie glances at the two, then motions for Cat to continue.

Cat looks innocently around, and smiles. Jade wants to roll her eyes into the back of her head, but can see how much Cat wants to do this. "Who should we sort first then, Cat?" says Jade, quirking her pierced eyebrow.

"André!" says André, with a smirk and a wink.

The group in question thinks, and Beck is the first to have a reply. "I think you'd be in Ravenclaw. You know, because you're really smart with music and you've never failed a class before."

Tori adds, "And you definitely wouldn't be in Slytherin, so yeah, I agree. Raise your hands if you think André is in Ravenclaw."

They all raise their hands and André looks satisfied. "I do look good in blue," he says, puffing out his chest. He adds, "How about Cat?"

Jade is quick to reply with Hufflepuff. Tori looks like she's about interject, but then reconsiders. "Cat? Do you have a problem with being a Hufflepuff?" Tori asks, and Cat shakes her head.

"No!" She puts her arms above her head like a ballerina and laughs. "It has a funny name."

Jade smiles at her friend. (A small smirk, though, Jade doesn't smile.) "Well, I doubt we have to vote on that one."

"What about Beck?" says Robbie. Everyone looks at the laid-back boy.

"I actually don't know...," says Tori. "Beck doesn't seem to fit anywhere." He was calm, but not Hufflepuff material; smart but not overly, so not Ravenclaw; witty, yet not with a cruel lean, definitely not Slytherin, and brave, but not very brave. But as Gryffindor seemed to fit the teen the best, Cat said so. "I think Gryffindor," and the gang nodded in agreement.

Tori turned and with a smirk looked at Jade. "Do we even need to say Jade's house choice? Or can it go... well, unspoken?"

Jade tilted her head. "Shut up, Tori, we all know you'd be in Hufflepuff."

Cat's brown eyes widened. "What's wrong with Hufflepuff?"

"Nothing, Cat," says Robbie, and Cat smiles.

"Oh, kay-kay."

Beck pulls his girlfriend closer to him. "For what it counts, I think Jade would be in Gryffindor. We and her aren't ever apart." Jade looks up at him, gratitude in her eyes, and then kisses him.

Tori rolls her eyes, then adds, "So who else do we have to do? Isn't it Robbie, and me?"

Robbie bursts out; "And Rex!"

Beck's eyebrow crease together. "Rex isn't even here. You're not allowed to have him at detention, Robbie."

"Still!"

Beck shakes his head. "Okay; Rex is in Slytherin, then. Because he's a gank."

"Okay if that's why Rex is in Slytherin, then why isn't Jade there too?" says Robbie, defensively.

Beck and Jade both glare at Robbie. "Because I'm real, and Rex is a _puppet_," replies Jade.

"PUPPET IS AN OFFENSIVE TERM!"

"Whatever."

Beck sets his hand on Jade's side, and then faces the group again. "André, what do you think about Rex's sorting?"

André nods. "I think it works. And what about Tori?"

Cat squeaks out, "Hufflepuff! So me and Tori are together! And Robbie in Ravenclaw!"

"I agree with Cat, for once," smirks Jade.

"Well, I firmly believe Gryffindor for Tori," replies Robbie.

Everyone seems lost in thought, even though the choice is obvious. "Well, I have to agree with Robbie. Sorry, Lil' Red."

"I don't mind, Gryffindor works best, huh?"

Tori makes a sound of victory at Jade. Jade purses her lips, but ignores it.

Cat smiles. "Well, why is everyone in their houses? We have to know why, too!"

Jade covers her face with her palms. "I thought we were just choosing which one!"

Everyone in the rooms sighs at the ditzy girl, and then complies. "Well, we already talked about why André is Ravenclaw... so why is Tori Gryffindor?' says Beck.

"Because she's brave enough to ask a real gang for help to save her friends," says Cat, her eyes lighting up at the response to her idea.

André raises his eyebrows, "I remember that. We told you thank you for that. Thanks. It was a real good thing for you to do."

Everyone murmurs in agreement. "Okay, what about Jade being in... Gryffindor?"

"Because she's brave enough to buy a vicious dog and set it on my dad," teases Beck.

"It was an accident! And it was Tori's fault we even got a dog!"

"Hey, you were the one who suggested it!" cries Tori. Jade throws her a murderous look.

"No, I said he always wanted one," snarls Jade.

"Implying that we get one."

The girls stare each other down, before they both break down in hysterics. After a few seconds, they wipe at their eyes and sit up again. "I wasn't laughing with you, Vega. I was simply laughing."

Tori only shrugs, and holds back a smile. "Beck is in Gryffindor because he's brave enough to wake up next to Jade everyday."

Robbie and André snigger. "Well, why is Cat in Hufflepuff?"

Cat swells up at her name. "Yeah, why?"

"Because you're really loyal, even when you shouldn't be," whispers Jade. Everyone looks shocked at the statement, and Cat jumps and hugs Jade, who stays stiff in her friends arms. "Cat? You can let go. Thank you."

"I love you, Jadey!"

"Yeah, yeah, love you too." Cat glows at these words and Robbie can't not smile at the utter joy in Cat's face at Jade's words, (which he finds slightly ironic.)

"What about me being in Ravenclaw?" Robbie asks.

"Because you're really really smart and nerdy."

"And dorky," adds Jade. Robbie takes it in consideration, then looks happy.

"I always did think Cho Chang was hot."

"Hey, what time is it?" says Jade.

They all jump up. "We can leave now," yells Cat, running out the library doors. They all follow; Beck and Jade jumping in Beck's car; Tori and André toward her house to finish their song, and Robbie waiting for his ride.

Later on in the evening, they would all smile.


End file.
